Today was Gammie’s special day! Ryan is one smart little fella. . .He knew that it was Gammie and Papa’s 30^th Anniversary. It was the sweetest thing I’ve seen from our little boy. He grabbed Gammie’s hand and seemed to move his mouth like he was trying to coo, his eyes were wide open and bright, and he even gave Gammie a huge smile!! I know it absolutely made my day I can only imagine how mom felt!

He is doing very well on his feedings. They’ve been increased to 5.5ml per feeding. The doctor has discontinued one of his diuretic medications. He has been trending down on his urine out put this afternoon but the nurses said he had this same trend yesterday and then had two very large diapers at midnight and then first thing yesterday morning. Our little man not only grew wide but also taller. He now measures 11 ¾ inches!

Ryan is our little ray of sunshine. We love and adore him so very much!

Ryan is doing exceptionally well on his feedings. They are now up to 4.5mls!! His color has greatly improved also. His gallbladder had gotten lazy because he wasn’t tolerating his feedings. There was talk of maybe bringing in a gastrointestinal doctor. Ryan’s doctor said that his jaundice/gallbladder could resolve on its own if they could get his feeds increased. He has been tolerating his feeds and his skin color is much much better!

He has been a very ‘good boy’ today per his nurses. He has rested well today and even had some stinky stools last night on his own! (Without the help of medications)

Ryan has quite a following of nurses! Two of his favorite have now called ‘joint custody’ and have agreed to share his care. This only comes up when they both work on the same days. Both of them want to care for him but he can only have one nurse. (That is what the hospital says but we wouldn’t mind if they both cared for him at the same time)

We had a very nice visit with Ryan. I love it when both Dean and I ‘hold’ him and he relaxes in our hands.

He also spent some good Gammie time with mom today.

His night nurse bathed, changed his bed, and weighed him and he now weighs 690grams!! This is a little over 1lb and 8 oz!! We are all soooo proud!! Grow little one grow!!

Dean and his nurse took guesses on how much weight Ryan had gained his nurse said 1oz and Dean thought he had gained at least 2oz. Dean is beaming! He guessed right.

I love being able to report that Ryan was a very good boy all night long! He has started the day out nicely also. His feeds are being increased to 2.5ml per feeding. If he tolerates this they will increase his feeds to 3ml per feeding this evening!! His urine output has dropped some but the nurse told us that he has pretty much removed the excess fluid from his body. The diuretics cannot pull off extra fluid if it isn’t there.

I’ve had a pretty constructive day. I mean I tackled several ‘fears’ and have only once nearly cried! Anyone who has experienced a loss can understand how apprehensive a mother becomes at the thought of putting together their nursery. It is supposed to one of the happiest times but honestly it scares the mess out of me! This morning we all cleaned around the house and Mom and Dean convinced me that I needed to at least open the boxes for our travel system and play yard (by ‘open’ they meant pull them out and assemble them). Normally this wouldn’t be such a terrifying task but this system was the first thing that was bough for Jackson. I found the colors and fell in love. I was always too afraid to open the boxes.  Needless to say they have been in the garage since last September. With only minor trembling of the hands and a minimally racing heart I was able to put together both the travel system and the play yard! I call this #1 on the Mommy Milestone chart.

I did have a Total ‘Bethany’ moment while putting the travel system together. I’m not sure who’s seen Bethany Every After but when she brought Bryn home from the hospital neither her or her husband could get the carrier out of the car base. They had to call their baby nurse and have her come downstairs to help them get their child of out of the car! I’m not exactly sure who manufactured and put these things together but I’m pretty sure it isn’t the wisest thing to place the instructions on how to get the carrier out of the car base underneath that carrier that came AFFIXED to the car base! We are talking you can see them but you can’t get to them until you’ve figured out how to get the thing out yourself!! Thank you Auntie Lesha for getting Auntie Debbie to our rescue!! She told us what button to look for so we could get the thing out!! I remember watching that episode with my dad and him getting tickled because he said there were several occasions that he honestly thought he was going to have to cut the seatbelts in the car to get our car seats out.  To my husband who thinks these shows are crazy I did learn something. . . . .Always put your travel system together and practice working them so that you can get your baby out of the car when you bring them home for the first time!!!

The boys look like they’ve got everything figured out! Now if you could just picture Ryan asleep on Dean’s chest then it would be complete. If there is one good thing about the NICU it is that Ryan should be able to sleep through noises. He will need that when he falls asleep on daddy’s chest and daddy starts to snore.

Mom and Dean helped through my 2 and 3^rd Mommy Milestones! We successfully started and completed two registries! Once we made a dent in cleaning the garage we headed to Target and Babies R Us. Mom and I were very proud and appreciative of Dean on both these trips. While we filled out paperwork at target he ran to the snack bar and bought the three of us a snack and a drink! I think he enjoyed (and has been looking forward to) registering as much as we did! He even filled out the paper work at BRU! I think one of the best quotes of the night came from Dean in reference to the scanner, “look baby it’s like star wars.”

Our precious little boy was sound asleep when we checked on his this evening. His color looks as though it has improved! They’ve been watching his bilirubin levels closely. The doctor said that because the gallbladder has become lazy since it hasn’t had to help digest. They are hoping that as he tolerates his feeds that these levels will improve further. The nurse said tonight that his level was within normal range!

Ryan has tolerated his new vent for nearly a week now. They were able to further decrease some of his settings this morning. He is remaining on room air. We are just soo proud of this little booger!!

Gammie made Ryan another special blanket this evening. He seems to really love and respond very well to fleece blankets. Tonight he had support the Razorbacks!

I dug out the Razorback cap from my cedar chest. This was the first piece of clothing given to me for Jackson. Mom surprised me with the cap, onsie, and booties after we found out we were pregnant. I never had (or allowed any one to buy) much for Jackson. Call it intuition or what have you. It made me a little sad to open my cedar chest and take out the small plastic sheet bag that held everything (clothes wise) that was bought for Jackson.

I miss my little one (Jackson) so much. It is still very hard leaving the hospital empty handed. I just pray nightly that the Lord will allow me to ‘keep’ Ryan. He is doing very well for age/size. We keep hearing about how much he is a little fighter and a trooper. It is hard to believe that our little man will be a month old on Wednesday!

Ryan had another good night. He has been tolerating his feedings. He is still making good urine. The doctors are going to leave him on his diuretics and wean them more conservatively this time around. His heart rate and blood pressure have been doing well also. We did have a small hiccup with his temperature becoming too low this evening but the nurse reported that by the time that she finished her shift it was back up to where it should be!

The NICU family waiting room has become our home-away-from-home. Since their isn’t to much to report on our little man I decided I would share how we spend most of our time. . . .

Auntie Lesha ‘hanging’ out with her favorite boy! We eat many lunches with Lesha here in the waiting room! It is nice that both she and Dean are just minutes away from the hospital!

Mom took Dean and me to the championship game at Dickey Stephens Park. It was an excellent night for baseball! They may have brought in special umpires for the game but I think they would have been just as well off with the regular umps! It was a very close game till the 6^th inning. The bases were loaded and a San Antonio Missions player received a reward for good acting. The ump claimed the player was hit by the ball but it couldn’t have gotten more than a tiny bit of a shoelace. This call walked in a player and then the rest of the inning was downhill from there! The Travs did rally back but it was too little too late.

We had a blast though!! Gammie even brought Ryan home an actual game ball given to her by an Arkansas Travelers player!!

Our baby boy is THREE weeks old!!

He had a much better (behavior) night last night! He is resting well and they have been able to decrease his ventilator settings down! He remains on room air. The doctor has begun to taper his steroid dose down! His weight was down an ounce this morning to 1lb 6oz but that is due to the loss of the extra fluid on his body.

He has tolerated his feedings well so far. There hasn’t been any residual feed in his tummy. He may have to have a baby enema this evening if he hasn’t had a bowel movement but this is just a precaution to make sure his system is moving through the way it should.

He is also tolerating position changes much better today than he has in the past! We spoke with the cardiologist today and he said that the valve in his heart that was leaky has resolved itself. He is going to watch his left ventricle. The doctor said that the left ventricle is being a little lazy but that this should also resolve itself as he continues to grow and his lungs heal. The doctor also said that right now he is not going to order a repeat test at this time. He is going to let Ryan grow and his organs mature and then he will order a recheck.

I’m a little saddened but at the same time relieved. Ryan will no longer be able to take breast milk. My breast milk has been making him sick and giving him setbacks. They did a culture on the milk and it is unsafe for him to drink. It shouldn’t affect me but just as a precaution I will take a week of antibiotics. They said there ‘might’ be a change that the milk would culture negative in between 1-3 months but after looking at the pros and cons we’ve decided that it isn’t worth it to continue to pump. I’ve been sick with allergies, sinus drainage that gives me respiratory problems, a headache that never goes away, and we won’t even mention how the c-section incision hurts during and after a coughing/sneezing fit! Ryan is doing very well on his formula feeds so it is best that we stick to that. I’m going to restart all my sinus/allergy medications (meds that I’ve stopped to try to help with pumping/supply) that way I can get some rest and heal before returning to work. I’m a little sad because I felt that that was one of the few things that I could do for him but it just isn’t worth me continuing to feel run down and losing energy when I need all the energy I can find to care for him when he is able to come home.

We thank you for all your continued prayers and support. I just ask that you remember all the other babies and families in the NICU and also those who’ve had premature infants who are home now and dealing with an array of health issues! They also need many prayers. When you have a premature infant you’re allowed to eventually bring them home but often times the medical care that they need doesn’t stop when they leave the hospital. It still remains but the lifeline/ support from the nurses is no longer there. Please remember these families in your prayers!!

Ryan had a very good night! He had two dirty diapers! He is tolerating his feeds well and the doctor has increased his feeds this morning. They have been able to continue to wean down some of his ventilator settings and he pretty much stays right around room air on his oxygen. He is having less desaturation events. I 'witnessed' my first real desaturation event today equipped with heart rate decreased in the 90's! I won't lie it scared me to death even though I knew that he would be fine after he was deep suctioned. It amazes me how calm and collected the nurses are working with our little miracles! I can do that with big all day but they are truly angels to take care of our babies (and help keep the mommas somewhat sane).

I received a BIG treat this afternoon. Nurse S allowed me to help her change Ryan’s position in the bed. It sounds simple but in order to change his position I was able to put my hands under his snuggie and pick him up! He made this face when she wouldn’t allow him to put his hand behind his head. This was the closest that either of us have come to actually getting to hold our son! I wish I remembered more about how he heavy (or light) he felt but we had to get him repositioned in a timely manner. It’s funny at times how the simple everyday things make us the happiest. I know one day changing diapers will become a daunting task but right now it is one of the highlights of our days!

Ryan allowed us to see him open both eyes at the same time today! He hears us talking to him and he will start to wiggle his eye brows and pull his eyelids with his facial muscles until he can get his eyes open. I can only imagine how we look to him. He just stares at us as we stare and talk to him. We did catch a grin today also. I made the comment on how he had his daddy's and brothers 'look' on his face he gave the biggest grin as we laughed.

I know I cannot say this enough but I absolutely love listening to Dean talk to Ryan. He is such a sweet and loving daddy! Any time that he can give him kisses on his forehead he normally gives him at least three! My uncle Jack came to see Ryan this evening. He told Ryan many stories about Papa and his Great Papaw! It was sweet to hear my uncle telling Ryan about my dad and the things that they used to get into when they were younger. It was also nice to hear my uncle include my papaw in their stories also.

Both Dean and my Uncle Jack had to give the nurses a hard time about Ryan’s feedings. Dean seems to think that since he was born on Dec 5 and he ate Christmas dinner that year that Ryan should be more than ready to eat Christmas dinner this year. No more than five minutes later (and neither of them heard each other’s conversations) my Uncle comes in as Ryan’s feeding pump beeped singnaling that it had finished. My uncle then decided to inform the nurses that Ryan told him that he requested seconds! Jack then proceeded to teach him all about tipping waiters. Why do I have a feeling that the next time these two ‘talk’ I may need to prescreen the conversation?? (who only knows what stories he can make up about me).

Ryan had an uneventful night health wise but attitude wise he gave the nurse fits! He apparently would not settle down for anything. Needless to say this morning the doctor increased his sedation and pain medication doses. These medications are weight based and the nurse said he has grown and the dose is still based on his last weight that was taken about a week ago. He could be building up some tolerance also. Another factor to his fussiness is the ventilator delivers breaths very different from his last vent and it will take him some getting used to the new 'wiggel' movement.

When we visited him this afternoon he looked so much more comfortable! He can still open his eyes and respond but he isn’t as agitated by the movement of the new vent.

He had a follow up echocardiogram this morning and we will have to wait until tomorrow to receive those results. So far he is doing well. He continues to make good urine, heart rate and blood pressure are good, and his tube feedings will restart tonight at 7PM.