Future Razorback!

Ryan had a very uneventful night. His night nurse was so special and dressed him to a ‘T’ for game day! She even coordinated his bottom blanket!!

I was very fortunate to get to go up to spend some time with Ryan before my day started. His nurse was tied up with her second baby but they allowed me to go ahead and open the top of his bed and change him before I had to go to work.

Ryan was the most awake that I’ve ever seen him! His eyes and facial expressions are becoming much more animated!

 I just LOVE when these BIG eyes look up at me as I talk to them.

I enjoyed our visit this morning more than I could explain!

Ryan didn’t have many orders this morning. He received a baby lax to help him have a stool. This did the job and his tummy was feeling much much better. He was such a happy yet sleepy baby when I visited him this evening.

I was able to help her change his clothes and then patted and sang him to sleep. He has figured out that Mommy leaves when he falls asleep so sometimes this can be a real challenge!

Tomorrow is a very special day. The Share program is having a special memorial service for the little ones that were lost this last year. I know it will most likely be a hard service but I love that they recognize that our son was ‘born’ and is real. It is nice to know that he isn’t forgotten. We appreciate all your prayers. I just ask that you also remember the other families in the NICU along with those who’ve lost pregnancies, battling infertility, and who battle emotions after becoming pregnant after a loss/struggle. 

1030!!!!

1030!!!!!Ryan has broken the 1000 gram mark!

 He is between 2lbs 4oz and 2lbs 5oz!! I’m so proud of my little man!!

 I didn’t get to spend much time with Ryan today due to some impromptu job hazards in the unit today but Gammie did me a favor and spent the afternoon with Ryan for me. It kills me to miss what little time I get to spend with him! I’m going to have to try to have longer visits before work so that on days like today I can feel like I actually spent time with my son! Gammie was nice enough to write Ryan’s post this evening. Sometimes it just feels like when it rains it pours!

Gammie comes to visit you every day. This day wasn't any different. Your mommy had to work today and went early to spend a little time with you before work. I went to lunch with mommy and she had a pretty good morning and was looking forward to spending time with you when she got off. Gammie was going to spend a few hours and check on what the doctor ordered for you today. I got a call from your mommy and when she got back to work she got into some "nasty" germs. She was not going to get to come see you after work, afraid she might pass them on. She asked Gammie a really HARD question. "Will you spend some time with you, since I can't go after work" now how could I say no. I love your mommy so that I would do anything for her, and her to ask me to stay with you was a real blessing. I don't write near as well as mommy, but at supper she said I had to write on your wall, since I spent more time with you. Here goes.

When I walked in your room this afternoon, you had just finished your feeding and were working your passie over, I put my hand on your back and you took hold of my finger. I sat there with my hand on your back watching you sleep. You would open that eye and peek to make sure that I had not left. I sang you a lullaby and talked about your papa. This weekend was when we were taking our week vacation and spending it at deer camp as our tradition has been the last few years. I started to tear up and you looked up at me and smiled....letting me know it was gonna be alright.

I got to take your temperature and change your diaper and watched you coo and look around. Gammie got to place you on your back to change you and clean that slobber mouth. You started to fuss but I talked to you and told you that you knew that your mommy and Gammie would not have a dirty mouth and you stopped crying and let me get it clean. I got a kiss after the nurse help me tuck you all in before closing your bed.

We had a good talk and visit. I told you how much you’re Mommy loved you and how special you were to all of us. You are the Light of my life and anytime spent with you just makes me smile.

Your only orders the doctor wrote for today was to increase your calories in your formula. He also wrote for a heart echo next week. This is for a checkup been awhile since the last one.

Thank you Michelle for allowing me to spend time with this precious little boy.

Love Y’all

Numbered Days

Ryan was such a different little boy today! He had several stools overnight and his tummy is feeling much better. His nurse said that he was fussy when she changed him and then we told her how he has been and all of us agreed that he was nowhere near as fussy as he has been!!

The only new order he had is that his feeds are increased to 19mls every 3 hours. His nurse also told us his days in the “big” unit are numbered. He is apparently on the list to be moved to the NICU-Step-down once he gains a little more weight. It is strange not being the “sickest” one in the unit.

I was treated this afternoon. I hadn’t planned on holding Ryan today but the nurse said that she believes strongly that time with parents help the little one’s growth and maturity. I sure didn’t argue with her!

We had a very good visit. We listened to casting crowns new cd and I watched him sleep and apparently he watched Mommy when she fell asleep. I woke up and realized I had dozed off, looked down at Ryan and he was watching me when I fell asleep.

It was just such a wonderful sight to see him resting when we arrived at the hospital! I know I say this all the time but I LOVE this little face

He looked so adorable in his little trucks outfit. He may be swallowed whole but he will sport his Razorback onsie and new blanket on Saturday.

I am VERY HAPPY to say that the boy's rooms are 95% painted!! Our Big Boy is getting a Baseball room!

Our Little Boy has a Noah’s Ark Room!! I can’t wait to see the finished project!

Ryan has really been taking notice of more of his surroundings. Today he notices his finger! It was the funniest/cutest sight! It was a lot like the incident when he noticed his house top moves. He starred at his finger for the longest time. When he made a fist and pulled his hand underneath him he looked perplexed that his finger disappeared.

I’m so looking forward to watching him grow and discover new things. (not too fast though!)

8 Weeks!

Ryan boy you are officially 8 weeks old! (34 weeks gestation) Over the last month we have had a several highs and a couple lows. Your month started out in more of a frightening manor. You were placed on the oscillator and started on steroids to help your lungs function and mature. Thankfully you thrived on the oscillator, eventually returned to the conventional vent and a just under a week ago you were pulled off of the vent completely!!

This month brought us many ‘Firsts.’

After five weeks of touching your hand and eventually you grasping our fingers we were able to hold you for the first time. This last week both your Daddy and I were able to hold you without the ventilator lines/tubes. There is just something so special getting to feel you move and interact in our arms like a normal newborn should!

I was so blessed to have been able to watch you take your first ‘real’ breaths! It truly felt like the day you were born all over again. It was wonderfully exciting and terrifying all at the same time. We once again had to count the hours until we could breathe easier. I am so proud of you for staying off the ventilator!

We heard your sweet cries for the first time this month. It is very easy to pick out your faint cries from the rest of unit. You’ve definitely discovered your voice and now are making your opinions known!

You also had your first set of prints this month! Since your lines were taken out you have made and left Mommy and Daddy several presents. Your nurses are very special people and help you make gifts that make Mommy and Daddy very happy to see!

You’ve done well with your feedings over the last month. You are strictly on Similac Special Care. The doctors had your feeds up to 20mls but Dr. B figured your need/size and said that he thinks some of your fussiness you’ve been having is because they are putting too much food into your tummy. He decreased you to 17mls every three hours and you’ve been fussy but much less fussy today than the last few days. Your calories are now 25. As of this evening you weighed 970 grams!! That is 2lbs 2oz!! You are almost to the milestone of 1000 grams. (I’m still not exactly sure what happens when you reach 1000 but everyone keeps talking about it).

Your last head ultrasound this week was completely normal! Your eye doctor said that you do not have any retina changes and that your eyes are just immature. You have made great strides with your eyes this month. You are much better at tracking and focusing in on objects. You still have big bright blue eyes!

You are a very strong and stout little man. Since you’re no longer sedated on the ventilator you have been moving a lot! You can turn your head from side to side in the bed and have begun pushing with your feet in order to scoot yourself. You are continuing to do well brining your hand into midline on your body. Your PT is very proud of you. Your also at a loss as to what to do with your hands. You've held onto your breathing tube for so long.

You have started taking your passi with some coaching. It definitely is NOT the cure all for fussiness.

Even though you have been fussy you still have a very sweet personality. You love to be ‘held’ and hold onto our fingers very tightly.

Our visit today was cut short due to you being very fussy. We stept out once you were alseep. Since i couldn't help you today I took my first (four legged) child for a special ride in the car.

It is crazy to think that we started this journey two months ago. I can’t even imagine what you will be doing by 12 weeks! Though its been a long journey I am so happy we have traveled it together. We love you so very much and are SOOO proud and happy to be your parents!

One Month

Two Months!

Real Mommy. . .For a Day

Ryan had a rough night to say the least. They aren’t sure what has him so unhappy but when I talked to his nurse this morning they had narrowed it down to two. Either his tummy was hurting (which the sweet ease should have helped) or he wanted attention. His nurse joked yesterday that I could come and hold him all day if it helped. . . Well. . . It worked.

I was able to be a ‘real’ Mommy for around 5 hours today. We rocked, swayed, hummed, listened to Casting Crowns, he took his passi, and slept quite a bit!

He was fussy fussy fussy when started. He was so red faced and upset he was lifting his head up off of his bed to make his feelings known. He squirmed just a big at first when she handed him to me but once he Scooted (yes I’m in trouble he has already figured out how to scoot with proper traction) to where he was comfortable he was out like a light.

Poor thing the only way he can clear his secretions is by sneezing. He had been sleeping good for about an hour when he started sneezing and scared himself. Thankfully as long as I patted or rocked he was fairly easy to get back to sleep. I mean as easy as it gets with a VERY strong willed and opinionated micro premie can be!

He wasn’t happy when he had to return to his house but at least he was worn out and hopefully will rest tonight!

(This is the look he gave me when we put him back to bed the first time)

His most recent length was 33cm which is 13 inches! He has grown ½ inch. His weight was down tonight. He weighed 900grams. The doctor said this morning that if he hadn’t gained he that he would crank his calories up again so we could pack on the pounds. I’m hoping the weight loss is just due to his using more energy to breathe on his own and his fussiness over the last week! The nurse said she would reweigh him in the morning to double check his weight.

Overall he is still a pretty happy/active baby! Now if only his Momma can remember to put the recharged battery in the camera I’ll have much better pictures tomorrow to show him off!

Looking through pictures I’ve realized what Ryan’s new found atti’Tude’ reminds me of!!

 These 4 legged grandkids that belong to Auntie Lesha!! (Just ask Gammie about their ‘tudes’!)

Fussy Fussy

My poor baby was apparently up most of the night fussing and then continued that trend for most of the day. His oxygen has been great throughout the night/day but his fussing has been almost inconsolable. I guess I’m not the only one having separation anxiety about going to work and not being able to see him during the middle of the day!

Other than being fussy Ryan has had done exceptionally well off of the vent! His calories are being increased to 25 calories. He should be weighed and measured this evening. He is a stout little man. When I went to see him before work his head was turned to his right. The nurse came in to speak with me and did a double take at him because when she left out of his room she had his head turned to his left. His body maybe smaller than his gestational age of 33-34 weeks but his mind seems to be more in line with his age of nearly 2 months.

His eyes have been maturing and he has been noticing and focusing in on objects more and more. This evening Ryan noticed that his house moved for the first time. His eyes opened the widest I’ve ever seen them and honestly his mouth dropped. He pulled his hands together and very intently watched as his house lowered. I’m not sure if he was more petrified or intrigued. He spent the next 15 minutes staring and looking the top of his house over!

I missed my little guy today and apparently he missed me also. At one point his nurse resorted to picking him up out of the bed and holding him to put him to sleep. When I visited him this evening he grabbed my finger with a death grip! If I shifted my weight and my finger moved slightly at all he would squeeze harder to make sure I didn’t go anywhere.

 I changed him then took his temp (which made him very upset). I finally got him tucked in and quiet right about the time the monitor alarm went off in his room. . . . Which of course, made him fuss again! I re-tucked him and he wasn’t sleeping when I left but he was happily sucking on his passi. That’s my story.

I’m not sure how long it lasted once he figured out Mommy had gone home but when I left he was happy!