Our Little Rangers: Talk About Issues!

Ryan is having some adjustment issues to his new big boy bed and room. His nurse was being nice and didn’t incriminate him and tell Mommy how he pulled out his feeding tubes last night when I called to check on him!

Ryan had a pretty fussy day. He has had a few desats and they have been titrating his oxygen up and down for his breathing. The doctor didn’t want to give him any blood yesterday because he wasn’t having the desats (yet). His nurse told us that when they get to growing as fast as he is that it isn’t uncommon that their blood count drops because their bone marrow can’t keep with his growth. There’s a fairly good chance he will have to have blood in the next few days.

His nurse asked me tonight when the last time I held him was and I told her that his Daddy held him Sunday. She said No when did YOU hold him last. When I told her it was Thursday she immediately said no wonder he has been so cranky. We had some good Mommy/Baby time tonight. I wasn’t able to hold him because I came from work. He held onto my finger for a while. If I had to move to let the nurse look at him he got very upset.

Thankfully he would calm easily when I patted him and put my finger in his hand to hold.

I can’t lie I’m feeling very cranky myself. Work stunk! I’d just like to have a day when something would go right! There is so much bad happening around us I just wish I could sit up with Ryan and watch the good side of the hospital. Watch my little one grow and hear of the other little ones growing.

Ryan looked so big to me today. I HATE this! Not because he growing ‘up’ but because it means that out of the last five days I’ve seen him so little that I can TELL that he has grown!!

It hurts to miss so many of Ryan’s first days. We are now a day away from 9 weeks into our journey and it’s getting so much harder. I’m able to see him daily even if it is just for a short period of time. I can’t imagine how those parents who cannot visit daily must feel. I know I’m miserable having him so far away! I keep telling myself that our stay in step-down will be much shorter than our last room and to truck on because there is a wonderful light at the end of this tunnel. Thing is we just have to survive our own minds/emotions to get to the end.

I did get a bit of comfort tonight when his nurse walked in and I heard a very familiar voice! I’d never met her but Ryan always seems to be very comfortable the next morning after she had cared for him. She gives him big boy sponge baths. He sleeps so well after them. She allowed me to rub lotion on his body to help him relax.

Ryan didn’t have any orders today. He did have another Eye exam. Mom was able to talk to the eye doctor today and he told her I needed to “check that problem off my list.” His eyes are great. He will continue to recheck them every two weeks.